working on it
this is all over the place
Noooooowwwwwruuuuuuzzzzzz MUBARAK
It’s a new year, I’m hungover and finishing editing this newsletter. It is time for rebirth and big transitions.
I have wanted to create a newsletter for a very long time. I’ve had a lot of conflicting feelings about whether or not what I have to say or write about is worth reading or putting out into the ether. Instagram has never felt like the right platform for me to write out any thoughts or feelings, it’s all a bit too superficial to feel like I can really be belly up in front of people like that. Even the earlier instagram days when it was a lot easier to just put your work out without it being organized and dished out by an algorithm wasn’t ideal for me either. I go in circles in my head very often about how harmful the conditioning from instant gratification and likes can be and how sweet it is to connect and build community with folks all over the place through these platforms. I have met really amazing people on instagram that I hold very dear in my heart. My life and community would be so different without instagram. Of course, many truths can exist and I don’t want to get in to that for this newsletter.
Social media has been playing a huge role in exposing the multiple genocides occurring in real time. Palestine has been the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of before I go to bed. Every day I see a new horror and it feels as if posting my art on social media is serving as a distraction at times.
Reading about alchemy reminds me that making art is a material process that is part of the quest of knowing. Creating is extremely spiritual and a reflection of the soul and everything you create holds the force of all that you have ever encountered.
It’s been 6 months and I am still questioning what my role is in everything. It’s a good question to ask often because it is ever-changing depending on capacity, circumstance, privilege, etc. We need to be spending time questioning what we can do every day when we wake up too. Fuck off with your hopeless attitude. I know everyone has a different capacity and a different role and there are many things that have different impacts. I know being sensitive is radical in a place that is trying to desensitize you and overstimulate and distract you with so much. Being sensitive doesn’t mean you can’t handle inconvenience. So much of what is convenient for you comes at the expense of someone else. The people dying fighting for their liberation are actually fighting for yours too. Everyone needs to spend more time thinking about what we are willing to sacrifice and what we can endure. Although, transformation is magical and there are no hard boundaries, our actions create results similar to the actions we undertake. If we are not taking direct action we will not make any direct impact.
Some updates on what I’ve been working on the past few months…
I love art history. Studying history alone can really gut you and also I don’t think it makes any sense to study just the timeline of events with plain ass “facts and events,” you have to study what the people did in response to what was occurring. What people were writing about, the poems and words people found, the images and videos created. I am working on making a zine composed of war rugs to connect multiple wars to each other through images, patterns and poetry. Afghans first made war rugs in the 80s after the Soviet Union invaded in 1979. It was a form of storytelling and they were mostly made to sell to the soldiers. The motifs used have transformed over the years, following 9/11 they started to depict the twin towers, poppies, drones, etc. I came to the realization that all oppression is connected at a very early age being raised by Afghan and Mexican immigrants. There is so much similarity in their histories even though they were from very different parts of the world. I love that poppies and kites are Palestininian symbols of resistance. I’ve painted kids playing poppy fields in Afghanistan because they were usually safe from landmines or bombings. Afghanistan has been the worlds largest supplier of opium since 2001. The same chemicals used by the Colombian government to eradicate coca plants that harms the land and villagers is sold and made by the US. Same chemical was briefly used in Afghanistan but was stopped supposedly because of the evidence of the harm it causes, yet it is still sold to Colombia. Another way the US constantly contradicts itself. Anyways kites are also a symbol of resistance in Afghanistan. Kite fighting is huge in Afghanistan and in 1996 the taliban banned kite flying. I grew up going to kite fighting competitions with my dad. Seeing people organizing kite flying days and bringing kites to rallies reminds me that everything is connected.
I’ve been working with children a lot these days. I’ve been guest teaching at a public elementary school with a friend that teaches a comic book making class after school. I love kid energy, they’re hella straightforward and the most creative. I’ve mostly been having them make tattoo flash sheets and I plan on tattooing the designs they’ve been making (on adults not the children) and using the funds to buy them art supplies they can take home.
I also recently volunteered with Afghans for a Better Tomorrow and helped watch over a bunch of children at a masjid while their parents got legal help with asylum papers. I was actually scared to take my sweater off the first couple of hours because I was nervous about the parents reacting to my tattoos. I only got a handful of weird stares from the other adults and the children loved squeezing my arms. Rumor spread among the children that I knew how to draw and I had a line of kids asking me to draw all sorts of things for them. Some kids wanted me to draw their favorite superheroes, some wanted portraits of their siblings, some wanted me to draw my tattoos. I never imagined I’d be in a room full of muslims in a masjid drawing tattoos. There were kids playing soccer outside and accidentally kicked the ball into the parking lot next door, they asked me to jump the fence and get the ball for them, I’m assuming something about my tattoos made me come off as someone who would be down to do that for them. I met a kid who had migrated from Afghanistan to Chile and spoke fluent Spanish and Farsi. I cried a lot that day.
There is so much more I would love to write about and share. I spent two weeks trying to put my thoughts together for this newsletter. It’s really hard for me to focus on one subject at a time but I will be working on making this more digestible. Shout out to all my comrades, especially my bay bridge ppl that recently got off. I love my community. I've been grieving and a sad mess but I have not felt lonely.
Tattoo updates
I am coming to Los Angeles April 19-24 and the Bay area April 24-29. Please email me or fill out the booking form. I’ve updated the links in my substack. I’m still figuring out the best way to upload photos on this platform so I can show yall tattoos and paintings I been making.
